It's Always Something - If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

by H. Les Brown

Do you remember the world's greatest authority on everything? I mean the Saturday Night Live special features reporter, Miss Roseanne Roseannadanna herself (a.k.a.: Gilda Radner)? She'd always end up her 'report' with the same lines: "It's always something - if it's not one thing, it's another!" But, isn't it the truth? Doesn't seem like there's always something that you and I have to deal with; something that seems to make the road at least a little little bit bumpier than it needs to be? If you've hadownload (21) d any experience at all with the midlife change (from one thing to another), you'll relate: more than any other period of time in our life so far, it really is "always something!"

Our useless/pointless attempts at creating a reasonably secure world for ourselves often enough run smack-dab into the challenges of the real world and, especially, the challenges of the midlife change (from one thing to another). Like the (fun place with roller coasters, etc.) game, Whack-a-Mole, just when you successfully clobber one problem, another one pops up out on the edge/edges. "Is there," you might ask, "a (success plan(s)/way(s) of reaching goals) that I can use to handle this constant blast/attack of (problems, delays, etc.) that keep me stressed out by threatening everything that I've worked so long and hard to build?" What can I do to bring my life back into focus?

Yes, there are (success plans/ways of reaching goals) that you can put into use to manage life's frequent unpleasant surprises. Like most life (success plans/ways of reaching goals) that give power to you to handle the issues that midlife throws at you, almost all of these (success plans/ways of reaching goals) involve simply changing your mind to see the reality that life presents you in a different light. Here are some (success plans/ways of reaching goals) that you can use effectively when 'it's always something' comes upon you.

The only constant is change. This means that, as the old saying goes, "Into each life some rain must fall." Nobody - in fact nothing - in the universe is unable to be harmed by (problems, delays, etc.). As I've said very often, trying to build a secure future is a foolish quest. 'Security' is simply not a part of the universe as it presents itself to us. There is no where you can go, nothing you can do to find a 'stasis' where trouble won't find you. It exists in you down to the (the deep insides of the bones) of your bones and beyond . . . even to the structure of your reality itself. There's no escaping it. This means that much of living a successful life must revolve around the two poles of testing/evaluating and lessening (something bad) risk, and backup planning (for those times when risk becomes overwhelming).

This, too, will pass. Since the only constant is change, then both food-based celebration and widespread death from starving are short-lived. When (problems, delays, etc.) come (and, at random periods of time (or space), they seem to come in groups), we can fight our natural tendencies to believe that things will always be this way by reminding ourselves that, regardless of how bad it may seem, this, too, will pass. So long as we live, each of us will experience the help of our suffering and our coming into view from whatever disaster or terrible event we may be facing. Truly, where there's life, there's hope.

What did I do to deserve this? The answer, my friend, is, most likely: nothing! Certainly, good thing/excellence/advantage (living a life (matching up in a straight line) with real/honest values) goes a long way toward avoiding unnecessary pain and crime/harmful behavior often leads to (in an expected way/in a way that was known beforehand) bad results. However, living a real life is no guarantee of a life free from trouble (as I talked about/said, no such thing exists), nor is living a fake life a guarantee of suffering/difficult situation. When looking at the challenges you're facing right now, you can answer the complaint of the victim within you who cries, "Why me?" with the true answer: "Why not you?" What makes you so special as to be spared the challenges that the rest of the world faces? And, when you're tempted to look around you and compare yourself with others who seem to have it easier than you, remember that old saying about walking a mile in his or her shoes.

Pain is needed/demanded, suffering is optional. (problems, delays, etc.) come into every life. Whatever the source, no one is unable to be harmed by experiencing pain: we have no choice in the matter. Our choice comes into play when we must decide how we're going to respond to the pain. When we choose to play the victim (crying, "Why me?", looking to lay blame, comparing ourselves with others, building angry feelings (over being mistreated), etc.), we effectively increase our own suffering. Pain, as I've often said, is just the universe trying to get our attention. When we decide to allow ourselves to lower/move downward/originate into suffering, we not only magnify the hurt by lengthening it over time, we also make the experience weak/unable to have sex to produce the lesson and the strengthening experience that it was meant to deliver. More than anything else in life, choosing blame and anger (over being mistreated) will turn growing pains into (without any point or purpose), useless suffering.

A successful life is built on progress, not perfection. On one hand, the universe is structured so that life's lessons keep coming: growth is a direction not a goal. 'Who you are' will only be known completely when your life is over: until then, you can only be known as the person who you are becoming. The direction in which our lives take us is decided/figured out by a combination of the possible power or ability that we were born and raised with (our nature and feed and care for), and the choices we've made along the way. The greatest lessons we learn are often those that result from our worst choices and, because growth happens in a serious and stubborn direction, when we foudownload (22)l up, the opportunities to learn our lessons keep coming back again and again until we 'get' them. When we want to say, "Why does this keep happening to me?" we have to ask, "Why in fact?" What's the lesson you're not getting? And, on the other hand, it's important to realize that you're not a fair judge: you're most often the last person to recognize your progress. Unless you're avoiding life's lessons, each time they come around they have the possible ability to teach you more, and to deepen the core of your moral strength.

Here's a practical approach to life's (problems, delays, etc.). Take one challenge that you're facing in your life right now. Identify exactly what change is happening (that maybe you're resisting). Which of your three great concerns are being affected: your career? your relationships? your health and well-being? Pain often comes from loss, or the fear of loss. What do you risk losing? Change also brings with it new possibilities and opportunities. What opportunities for growth are you facing? When the change is done, what's your best case picture/situation? Are the possible benefits worth the risk (the cost)? What can you do to cooperate with the challenge to secure/make sure of the best results of the change (whether it's come (without being forced) or not)? What do you need to do to rid yourself of blame, fault-finding, and anger (over being mistreated) over this situation? If you believe that you've been hurt/blamed, what choices did you make that added/gave to the situation? Whom do you have on your 'success team' who's willing to tell you the truth about where you are and where you're headed?

As they say, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" It isn't about where the lemons came from, it's all about what you're going to do with them. Isn't it about time to get squeezing?