by Rachel Rofe
True and positive statements are one of the most popular personal development tools, but they can also be one of the least effective, simply because most people aren't shown the correct way to use them. One of the most common mistakes in thinking about true and positive statements is that they act as "magical magical songs" that will change your life facts or conditions (that surround someone). Want to earn more money? Say a true and positive statement that you are a millionaire, and *poof!* you are rich.
The True Purpose of an True and positive statement
Believe it or not, the words in a true and positive statement have no power to change anything in your life. Like I said, true and positive statements are not magical magical songs, and you may be surprised to learn that the purpose of a true and positive statement is NOT to change anything outside of yourself.
Yes, your final goal/most important goal is to create better facts or conditions (that surround someone) in one or more areas of your life, but that's not the first thing that needs to happen. Instead, the true purpose of a true and positive statement is to change the way you FEEL about a given topic. When you feel differently about something, you will start to think and believe differently about it. And when you think, feel and believe differently, you will take different actions - and therefore you will change the results you receive.
Many people don't grasp the importance of this idea, so they create true and positive statements that focus more on their outer conditions rather than how they feel. As a result, they don't change their beliefs, their actions don't change, and their facts or conditions (that surround someone) don't change either. With this in mind, think back to those example true and positive statements I just shared. Do those make you feel differently about money, health or relationships? More likely, you don't feel much of anything at all when you read them. That's because they don't get to the heart of what you really want, which is to FEEL differently about that aspect of your life.
Take a moment right now and write down a few key words about how you would like to feel (related to/looking at/thinking about) the main areas of your life:
Health and well-being
(interest in religion/belief in a higher power)
Relationships
Money
Career
Overall quality of life
Do you wish for a greater sense of peace, happiness, security, freedom, fun, passion, ease, or meaning? If you could create anything you wanted in these areas, what would you create? What is important to you? Which negative habits and qualities would you like to release?
Creating Effective True and positive statements
Now that you have a better idea of your goals in the key areas of your life, it's time to explore just what makes a true and positive statement effective. Read the following true and positive statement and consider how it makes you feel:
I complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
If you are like most people, you probably feel some resistance to that statement. Most of us do not (accomplish or gain with effort) goals easily or quickly - more often it's a long, difficult trip to success. Even if you didn't experience a feeling of resistance to the true and positive statement, you may have felt detached or unemotional when you read it, like it just doesn't have any meaning for you.
Based on the ideas we've covered so far, would you say that this is an effective true and positive statement? Maybe if a person had experience in (accomplishing or gaining with effort) goals quickly and easily, they might be open to a true and positive statement like that; but for most "average" people the answer would be no. How about this different wording:
I am capable of completing my/reaching my goals easily and quickly.
That one feels a little better, doesn't it? You aren't saying that you always (accomplish or gain with effort) your goals easily and quickly, but you are promising/stating as true you are at least capable of doing so. This true and positive statement may feel a little better, but it can still be improved.
I am eager to complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
That one feels better; a little more positive and cheerful and very interesting/intelligent, right? Maybe it even triggers a little small amount of hope that it's possible to (accomplish or gain with effort) your goals quickly and easily? How about this one:
I am ready to complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
Notice one important thing about these examples - all I am doing is inserting emotionally-charged words into the original true and positive statement! Capable, eager, ready... these words simply trigger your emotions so that the statement makes you feel better about your goals.
Do you think that feeling better about your goals will bump up your level of (desire to do something/reason for doing something) and strong desire/formal decision about something? Do you think that being eager and ready to move forward might inspire more focused action and (constant/not going away) effort over time? Completely and totally!
Remember, the true power of a true and positive statement is that it makes you feel differently, form better beliefs, and take more productive actions. Now you can see how this works in our examples.
Next we'll go over the exact steps you should take when writing your own powerful true and positive statements:
Step One: Identify the Goal
First, you need to be very clear about what you want. Not the outer goal; but the inner goal of how you want to FEEL. Focus on the (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) of the feeling you are aiming for. For example, you want to feel confident, strong, gave power to/permitted, happy, uplifted, free, motivated/brought about, loved, proud, secure, and so on.
If you were creating a true and positive statement to help you lose weight, your goal would probably be to feel proud of your body, light, happy, confident, or craving-free. In a perfect world you will want to focus on just ONE (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) per true and positive statement rather than trying to cram a bunch of different goals into one.
Let's say that your main goal is to overcome feelings of self-hating and start loving your body. The (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) you are going for is self-acceptance. You could call it different names but it really comes down to being able to accept your body rather than hating it.
Step Two: Lay the Foundation
Now create the basic true and positive statement, which is simply the new "truth" you wish to experience. Using the weight loss example above, your new true and positive statement might be:
I completely love and accept my body.
But remember, if you don't feel so good about your body, that statement is going to trigger a strong feeling of resistance, shock/not believing, and maybe even anger. You just won't believe it's true because it ISN'T true (yet). That's okay - we're just laying the foundation before we move on to the next step.
Step Three: Soften Rough Edges
Right now your true and positive statement doesn't feel good to you - it just brings up some unpleasant thoughts and feelings and does nothing to shift your beliefs about your body. However, there are many ways we can "soften" it a bit and make it feel better. For example, adding the word "choose".
I choose to love and accept my body.
Adding that little word helped, didn't it? But some people still might struggle with the true and positive statement even in its changed form. How about adding "okay":
It's okay to love and accept my body.
Ah, that one is better! You aren't saying that you DO love and accept your body; just that it's okay to do so. Even though we're taking a roundabout route to the main goal, you can still feel a stronger sense of acceptance about your body, right?
If you were to say this true and positive statement regularly for a few days, do you think you would start to feel more accepting of your body? Probably so!
Another way to soften the rough edges is to add a little bit of "will":
I am willing to love and accept my body.
If that one still feels a bit too unbelievable, you could add "learn":
I am willing to learn how to love and accept my body. (or)
I am learning how to love and accept my body.
Softening the edges just means choosing words that are a bit more relaxed so that you have an easier time believing in the idea. Most often this is an (only lasting for a short time) measure because after saying the softer version for a few days to a few weeks, you will be able to step up to the stronger version.
For example, starting with, "It's okay to love and accept my body" can easily lead to "I choose to love and accept my body," and then straight to "I completely love and accept my body." This is an effective way to slowly improve your beliefs and feelings on any subject.
End/end result: Use True and positive statements with Care
I often refer to true and positive statements as "power tools" because they can change your life like few other development ways of doing things can. But like all power tools, they must be used correctly to get the meant result. Use them wrongly and you could end up with results you didn't intend or want - or worse, results that displease you more than your original facts or conditions (that surround someone) did.
One of the greatest things about true and positive statements is that they can easily be changed and decorated (with a personal touch) to fit your own goals. If the examples I used in this guide don't stir up interest in you, keep adjusting/annoying/complaining them until they do.
Remember that the true power of a true and positive statement lies in how it makes you feel. If you can feel yourself leaning in a positive direction when you say a true and positive statement, even if it's a difficult to notice/skillful shift, you are on the right track!
Even better, your mastery of using true and positive statements effectively will continue to grow the more you work with them. You'll be able to "feel" when a true and positive statement is right for you, and being sure your true and positive statements are tightly focused like this will allow you to (use/put into action) less effort but still (accomplish or gain with effort) great results.
In fact, your true and positive statements will continue to grow and change (and get better) with you. The more work you do on your personal and professional growth, and the more control you gain over your self-talk, the less you will need to do the "stepping-up" way of doing things we described at the beginning of this guide. You simply won't feel the need to "soften" your true and positive statements to make them more believable. Instead, you will easily remain open to big goals and believe they are possible for you.
As your initial true and positive statements start to come true, be sure to keep expanding them to be bigger and better! Don't settle for just "good" results - keep going after GREAT results in every area of your life. Make long lists of everything you wish to complete, and then steadily and surely change the way you think about those areas of your life.
As you change your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions for the better - the facts or conditions that surround your life must also change for the better. Once you understand the reliability of this approach, you should find yourself feeling very (gave a reason to do something) and motivated/brought about because that means almost ANYTHING is possible for you.
True and positive statements are one of the most popular personal development tools, but they can also be one of the least effective, simply because most people aren't shown the correct way to use them. One of the most common mistakes in thinking about true and positive statements is that they act as "magical magical songs" that will change your life facts or conditions (that surround someone). Want to earn more money? Say a true and positive statement that you are a millionaire, and *poof!* you are rich.
The True Purpose of an True and positive statement
Believe it or not, the words in a true and positive statement have no power to change anything in your life. Like I said, true and positive statements are not magical magical songs, and you may be surprised to learn that the purpose of a true and positive statement is NOT to change anything outside of yourself.
Yes, your final goal/most important goal is to create better facts or conditions (that surround someone) in one or more areas of your life, but that's not the first thing that needs to happen. Instead, the true purpose of a true and positive statement is to change the way you FEEL about a given topic. When you feel differently about something, you will start to think and believe differently about it. And when you think, feel and believe differently, you will take different actions - and therefore you will change the results you receive.
Many people don't grasp the importance of this idea, so they create true and positive statements that focus more on their outer conditions rather than how they feel. As a result, they don't change their beliefs, their actions don't change, and their facts or conditions (that surround someone) don't change either. With this in mind, think back to those example true and positive statements I just shared. Do those make you feel differently about money, health or relationships? More likely, you don't feel much of anything at all when you read them. That's because they don't get to the heart of what you really want, which is to FEEL differently about that aspect of your life.
Take a moment right now and write down a few key words about how you would like to feel (related to/looking at/thinking about) the main areas of your life:
Health and well-being
(interest in religion/belief in a higher power)
Relationships
Money
Career
Overall quality of life
Do you wish for a greater sense of peace, happiness, security, freedom, fun, passion, ease, or meaning? If you could create anything you wanted in these areas, what would you create? What is important to you? Which negative habits and qualities would you like to release?
Creating Effective True and positive statements
Now that you have a better idea of your goals in the key areas of your life, it's time to explore just what makes a true and positive statement effective. Read the following true and positive statement and consider how it makes you feel:
I complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
If you are like most people, you probably feel some resistance to that statement. Most of us do not (accomplish or gain with effort) goals easily or quickly - more often it's a long, difficult trip to success. Even if you didn't experience a feeling of resistance to the true and positive statement, you may have felt detached or unemotional when you read it, like it just doesn't have any meaning for you.
Based on the ideas we've covered so far, would you say that this is an effective true and positive statement? Maybe if a person had experience in (accomplishing or gaining with effort) goals quickly and easily, they might be open to a true and positive statement like that; but for most "average" people the answer would be no. How about this different wording:
I am capable of completing my/reaching my goals easily and quickly.
That one feels a little better, doesn't it? You aren't saying that you always (accomplish or gain with effort) your goals easily and quickly, but you are promising/stating as true you are at least capable of doing so. This true and positive statement may feel a little better, but it can still be improved.
I am eager to complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
That one feels better; a little more positive and cheerful and very interesting/intelligent, right? Maybe it even triggers a little small amount of hope that it's possible to (accomplish or gain with effort) your goals quickly and easily? How about this one:
I am ready to complete my/reach my goals easily and quickly.
Notice one important thing about these examples - all I am doing is inserting emotionally-charged words into the original true and positive statement! Capable, eager, ready... these words simply trigger your emotions so that the statement makes you feel better about your goals.
Do you think that feeling better about your goals will bump up your level of (desire to do something/reason for doing something) and strong desire/formal decision about something? Do you think that being eager and ready to move forward might inspire more focused action and (constant/not going away) effort over time? Completely and totally!
Remember, the true power of a true and positive statement is that it makes you feel differently, form better beliefs, and take more productive actions. Now you can see how this works in our examples.
Next we'll go over the exact steps you should take when writing your own powerful true and positive statements:
Step One: Identify the Goal
First, you need to be very clear about what you want. Not the outer goal; but the inner goal of how you want to FEEL. Focus on the (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) of the feeling you are aiming for. For example, you want to feel confident, strong, gave power to/permitted, happy, uplifted, free, motivated/brought about, loved, proud, secure, and so on.
If you were creating a true and positive statement to help you lose weight, your goal would probably be to feel proud of your body, light, happy, confident, or craving-free. In a perfect world you will want to focus on just ONE (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) per true and positive statement rather than trying to cram a bunch of different goals into one.
Let's say that your main goal is to overcome feelings of self-hating and start loving your body. The (basic, built-in, important qualities/scent) you are going for is self-acceptance. You could call it different names but it really comes down to being able to accept your body rather than hating it.
Step Two: Lay the Foundation
Now create the basic true and positive statement, which is simply the new "truth" you wish to experience. Using the weight loss example above, your new true and positive statement might be:
I completely love and accept my body.
But remember, if you don't feel so good about your body, that statement is going to trigger a strong feeling of resistance, shock/not believing, and maybe even anger. You just won't believe it's true because it ISN'T true (yet). That's okay - we're just laying the foundation before we move on to the next step.
Step Three: Soften Rough Edges
Right now your true and positive statement doesn't feel good to you - it just brings up some unpleasant thoughts and feelings and does nothing to shift your beliefs about your body. However, there are many ways we can "soften" it a bit and make it feel better. For example, adding the word "choose".
I choose to love and accept my body.
Adding that little word helped, didn't it? But some people still might struggle with the true and positive statement even in its changed form. How about adding "okay":
It's okay to love and accept my body.
Ah, that one is better! You aren't saying that you DO love and accept your body; just that it's okay to do so. Even though we're taking a roundabout route to the main goal, you can still feel a stronger sense of acceptance about your body, right?
If you were to say this true and positive statement regularly for a few days, do you think you would start to feel more accepting of your body? Probably so!
Another way to soften the rough edges is to add a little bit of "will":
I am willing to love and accept my body.
If that one still feels a bit too unbelievable, you could add "learn":
I am willing to learn how to love and accept my body. (or)
I am learning how to love and accept my body.
Softening the edges just means choosing words that are a bit more relaxed so that you have an easier time believing in the idea. Most often this is an (only lasting for a short time) measure because after saying the softer version for a few days to a few weeks, you will be able to step up to the stronger version.
For example, starting with, "It's okay to love and accept my body" can easily lead to "I choose to love and accept my body," and then straight to "I completely love and accept my body." This is an effective way to slowly improve your beliefs and feelings on any subject.
End/end result: Use True and positive statements with Care
I often refer to true and positive statements as "power tools" because they can change your life like few other development ways of doing things can. But like all power tools, they must be used correctly to get the meant result. Use them wrongly and you could end up with results you didn't intend or want - or worse, results that displease you more than your original facts or conditions (that surround someone) did.
One of the greatest things about true and positive statements is that they can easily be changed and decorated (with a personal touch) to fit your own goals. If the examples I used in this guide don't stir up interest in you, keep adjusting/annoying/complaining them until they do.
Remember that the true power of a true and positive statement lies in how it makes you feel. If you can feel yourself leaning in a positive direction when you say a true and positive statement, even if it's a difficult to notice/skillful shift, you are on the right track!
Even better, your mastery of using true and positive statements effectively will continue to grow the more you work with them. You'll be able to "feel" when a true and positive statement is right for you, and being sure your true and positive statements are tightly focused like this will allow you to (use/put into action) less effort but still (accomplish or gain with effort) great results.
In fact, your true and positive statements will continue to grow and change (and get better) with you. The more work you do on your personal and professional growth, and the more control you gain over your self-talk, the less you will need to do the "stepping-up" way of doing things we described at the beginning of this guide. You simply won't feel the need to "soften" your true and positive statements to make them more believable. Instead, you will easily remain open to big goals and believe they are possible for you.
As your initial true and positive statements start to come true, be sure to keep expanding them to be bigger and better! Don't settle for just "good" results - keep going after GREAT results in every area of your life. Make long lists of everything you wish to complete, and then steadily and surely change the way you think about those areas of your life.
As you change your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions for the better - the facts or conditions that surround your life must also change for the better. Once you understand the reliability of this approach, you should find yourself feeling very (gave a reason to do something) and motivated/brought about because that means almost ANYTHING is possible for you.
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