by H. Les Brown
I've been away...yes I have. But all that's behind me now, and this month is shaping up to be a (changing from one thing to another) one. I'm needing to take my business from a disappointing end/end result with the end of 2008 into something even more energetic/changing and (something big and important that changes people's thinking or lives) as we move more deeply into 2009. Things are changing, aren't they? Old features are dying and new ones are coming into play. Does it make you feel uncomfortable, not knowing what tomorrow will bring? What'll be on the line next? Will it be your job? Will it be your family and home life? Will it be your own health and happiness? Will it be new opportunities? Will it be a new se download (11)nse of hope?
If you've been truly caught off-guard by the recent worldwide money-based downturn, part of your worry may come from your not taking seriously enough this simple saying: 'The only constant is change.' When people do not take that (appearing to be)-simple idea (good or well enough) seriously, they're most likely heading for serious trouble. If the only constant in the universe is change (and it is), what (sum of money given/freedom to move within limits) must you make for (firm and steady nature/lasting nature/strength), security and extreme confidence (in being right about something)? I'm deadly serious when I say, "None at all." These are all short-lived things and fake images. They seem to appear for a time, but then they disappear as quickly as they came, and without warning. And yet, nearly everyone (except, maybe, the most (related to religion or the soul)ly advanced among us) continue to chase after these mirages from time to time. The more educated way to treat life is the famous "one day [hour / minute / second] at a time," taking seriously that "this, too, will pass." That you live life this way is critically important, yet how you live life this way is equally so. Let's explore why this is so.
Living life on life's terms, one day at a time does not at all require you to give up all responsibility for managing the life that you've been handed. Whether you're an adult, experiencing the midlife change (from one thing to another), or already in maturity, you are neither the master of your future nor a person who is ordered around by (the) unavoidable, already-decided future: you are the co-creator of your pre-planned future. At the same time, you're given all the raw materials necessary to make something truly meaningful of yourself - or not. You're given a lot of choices: from choosing how you're going to define 'success' for yourself to deciding whether or how you're going to chase after those goals. You can choose to float like a leaf in a river, at most paddling with the current, or you can swim in such a way that you use the current to take you where you want to go. Sadly, there's one more choice: swimming upstream. Each has its own attractions, and each has its own hidden traps. Yet, clearly, not all of them will produce the same quality of results.
Take the last example, for instance: swimming upstream. I think that most of us men spend most our adult lives swimming upstream. After all, we've been fed the masculine very old story/untrue story of the warrior, fighting bravely and without thinking or caring about his personal safety or comfort against unbeatable odds to (accomplish or gain with effort) a beautiful victory. Yeah, right: that's what we generally see when we look around at middle-(old/allowed to get old/got older) men, don't we - a large number of beautiful victories? What we generally see when we look around at guys toward the end of their adulthood phase are men who have fraught bravely only to find themselves in the same place they started, or men who tried very hard to make something of themselves and who (accomplished or gained with effort) an appearance of victory over the odds, only to see their winnings wiped out when they ran out of useful things/valuable supplies. Or, we see guys for whom the challenge was just too overwhelming for them to be able even to keep up. The model for the successful adult male that most of us have been led to accept doesn't generally produce what it promises.
A depression (about getting older) generally starts with the realization that swimming upstream against the current generally produces very disappointing results. Pre-planned future, like (old/allowing to get old/getting older), has a certain (a guarantee that something will definitely happen) about it. Sooner or later, every man has to come to terms with his pre-planned future. That's where the critical choice comes into play: what are you going to do? How are you going to take your disappointments and the life that you've been heavily loaded down with (that's not wholely of your choosing), and do something with it? If you've chosen the route of the depression (about getting older), you'll decide to keep struggling. Maybe you'll kick aside your job, your career, your family, your health - everything - and start over. Or, maybe you'll just keep on keeping on until you burn out.
Maybe, on the other hand, you'll realize how useless/pointless so much of your efforts were, and you'll quit fighting wholely. You'll just 'let go and let God,' hoping somehow that an (a silly event in a book or movie that magically ends everyone's problems) - something one of my professors used to call 'the stop-gap God - will just pop out and take care of everything. You may accept the midlife change (from one thing to another) in such a way as simply to give up on yourself and your life. Maybe you'll just drift into 'retirement' (you can read into that 'surrender') and be the kind of man that Henry David Thoreau wrote about when he said, "Most men lead lives of quiet (very upset feelings of hopelessness) and go to the grave with the song still indownload (9) them." It reminds me of the story of the guy who rolled a huge giant rock to the edge of a cliff, and, when it kept on rolling toward the cliff edge, wondered why his cries to God to stop it from going over went unanswered. Acceptance of your midlife change (from one thing to another) is only a necessary but small part of the equation.
Every teen, when he or she passes out of childhood and into the driver's seat of life that we call adulthood, must sense the possibility of personal greatness. The lack of that sense of total power points to/shows a childhood gone terribly wrong. A human being without a sense of personal (getting or giving power) and possibility lives in a condition of poorness before which any other example of poorness on earth pales. For those, at least, who were not wholely robbed of their people/(the kindness of people) before the beginning of teenage years, there's a (state of mind where someone will definitely do something if needed) to fight. When those men are presented with the super-important power of midlife, they take advantage of it. They're willing to let the many futilities of adulthood pass ("All things flow)," wrote the very old Greek (someone who thinks a lot about how people think), Heraclitus), but they refuse to give up their dreams. They allow the midlife change (from one thing to another) to change them, matching up/making even their courage and efforts with their pre-planned future, re-defining success in such a way as to present themselves with fully (able to be done) goals.
At once, those who can both sense and support the flow of their personal pre-planned futures are gave power to/permitted to change their efforts from uselessness/pointlessness into greatness. For, dear readers, the greatest challenge that you or any one of us has to overcome is our own (feelings of doubt and hesitation) to change, for it is only out of seen/obvious defeat that great men (and women) can create truly super-important victories. As you experience your own challenges from the midlife change (from one thing to another), what bold obnoxiousness must you (giving up in a fight) in order to match up/make even your power with your pre-planned future? Where will you find your most super-important defeat?
No comments:
Post a Comment